Letting Go….

kellybuszekeThis was a hard weekend for me. Yesterday, for the very first time, one of my kids left for sleep-away camp. I’m not nervous for her at all, in fact I’m overcome and happy for her to get to experience this, but she’s never been away for this long and the “letting go” without the constant worry is stressful. Thankfully, they already posted a photo of her on their site and I got to see her smiling face. That made it all a bit easier.

But then today, kid #2 started a new day camp. The previous one they were at went smoothly, but they wanted to try something new, so we did. I know there are aspects of this new camp that might not jive entirely with his personality, so I worried all this morning getting him on the bus. In fact, once he left I freaked a little. “Did I pack his bathing suit? Did he have his water bottle? Will he lose his glasses?”

Letting go is hard. I find that in all aspects of my life, especially with my writing. Once a book is finished, edited, proofread, I have to push and convince myself to “let it go.” Release it to the world, for good or bad. But, it’s so hard. I know so many people who are perfectionists and it’s the reason they don’t publish. They can’t give themselves the permission to not be perfect.

I just “let go” my horror anthology RICKET ROW. It’s a collection of tales I compiled for the past twenty years. Many of these stories got very close to getting into magazines so I thought people would enjoy them. For some reason, this anthology was easier to let go than some of my novels. Maybe because I had a few beta readers who enjoyed them first and I wasn’t as self-conscious because I felt a little less pressure about their time. With an anthology their investment in each tale is a whole lot less than a whole novel.

So for this post, I want to leave everyone with this thought. “Letting go is hard” but it’s a fact of life. We lose loved ones, we send our children off to great adventures, we lose our glasses, we say things we sometimes wish we didn’t say. Harping, worrying and dwelling on certain thoughts and not “letting them go” won’t help us if the thoughts are negative. Remember our loved ones and keep their memories close, but give yourself the permission to move on. Let your children fly, don’t worry about material things you lose – they can be replaced.

Hopefully this is not all easier said then done, and I’ll follow my own advice.

15 thoughts on “Letting Go….

  1. Letting go is very difficult. I had four boys and it was with a lot of difficulty that I discovered I had to let them go so they could grow up. I now have four men of which I am very proud. The art of letting go was brought to my attention by a inspirational speaker. He handed out small stones to each of us in the group and had us hold it outright in our hands. He then asked how much did it weigh? We all agreed – less than a pound. He had us put ours down and he continued to hold his as he talked. He told us, the longer we held it out there, the heavier it would seem to get and finally would weigh so much we’d be in terrible and have to drop it. He dropped the stone. “Learn to let go,” he said. It was then he explained that the stone never actually gained any weight but we had allowed it to weigh us down, dragging us. It made sense. I still have issues with letting go at times but I have learned to let go of a lot of other stones. LOL. ps: I’m sure they’ll have a great time at camp… let them grow up, mommy.

  2. I understand how hard it is to let of a book. It seemed to take me forever to complete book 3 of my trilogy because I didn’t want to let go and call it done. But, I reminded myself that in order to start new stories, I have to let go of the others ones.

    Great post!!

    • I’m on book #3 now of my own series and man, it’s hard to even let go of the words I’ve put on paper so far! I mean, it’s so stressful wondering how it’s going to turn out. I can’t imagine when it’s time to actually publish like you just did. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  3. I have one daughter, a very headstrong girl who wanted to take charge of her life from the age of five. She’s now a mother with a daughter of her own and it’s surprising to see how she handles these small “letting go” moments herself. My most difficult time was sending her off to college. I felt like the house was so empty, but surprise, she came back and we enjoyed our time together even more. Letting go sometimes builds better relationships.

  4. Great post! I have kids that are becoming more independent too, and I also have a hard time letting my books go. In fact, my second book, called Letting Go (no joke) is due out in July. I had to respond to this post when I saw your title. 🙂

  5. Great post, yes, Letting kids go? Well, even if we think we can do it, and have done it, as I have, it never stops hurting in your heart. They are always with you, As you said, It’s a fact of life.

  6. My observation of life. Once you conceive and birth a child, you never completely let go. I still have the same urge to strangle anyone who hurts my “kids” that I had when their feelings got hurt at school. I just don’t call the offender’s mother anymore. LOL

  7. When I was getting ready to go to University back in the 1970s my mother said to me ‘Just remember we will want you to come back home, telling us all your stories and sharing your experiences but you may have other more exciting plans; your plans come first – we wanted you, you didn’t chose to be born (clearly she wasn’t a Buddhist!) so if you come back it’s because you want to not because you feel you have to’. She wanted me to know she was prepared to let go. Of course she was a clever woman because i always felt guilty given that freedom if i didn’t come back and share my stories!

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