Tag Archive | camp

Letting Go….

kellybuszekeThis was a hard weekend for me. Yesterday, for the very first time, one of my kids left for sleep-away camp. I’m not nervous for her at all, in fact I’m overcome and happy for her to get to experience this, but she’s never been away for this long and the “letting go” without the constant worry is stressful. Thankfully, they already posted a photo of her on their site and I got to see her smiling face. That made it all a bit easier.

But then today, kid #2 started a new day camp. The previous one they were at went smoothly, but they wanted to try something new, so we did. I know there are aspects of this new camp that might not jive entirely with his personality, so I worried all this morning getting him on the bus. In fact, once he left I freaked a little. “Did I pack his bathing suit? Did he have his water bottle? Will he lose his glasses?”

Letting go is hard. I find that in all aspects of my life, especially with my writing. Once a book is finished, edited, proofread, I have to push and convince myself to “let it go.” Release it to the world, for good or bad. But, it’s so hard. I know so many people who are perfectionists and it’s the reason they don’t publish. They can’t give themselves the permission to not be perfect.

I just “let go” my horror anthology RICKET ROW. It’s a collection of tales I compiled for the past twenty years. Many of these stories got very close to getting into magazines so I thought people would enjoy them. For some reason, this anthology was easier to let go than some of my novels. Maybe because I had a few beta readers who enjoyed them first and I wasn’t as self-conscious because I felt a little less pressure about their time. With an anthology their investment in each tale is a whole lot less than a whole novel.

So for this post, I want to leave everyone with this thought. “Letting go is hard” but it’s a fact of life. We lose loved ones, we send our children off to great adventures, we lose our glasses, we say things we sometimes wish we didn’t say. Harping, worrying and dwelling on certain thoughts and not “letting them go” won’t help us if the thoughts are negative. Remember our loved ones and keep their memories close, but give yourself the permission to move on. Let your children fly, don’t worry about material things you lose – they can be replaced.

Hopefully this is not all easier said then done, and I’ll follow my own advice.

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How I Turned into Supermom on Friday…

benandmeI have spent the past few weeks focussing this blog on writing, but by my subtitle, my blog is really about “Musings of a Type “A” Mom.” As much as I’d love to spend my life writing and cooking, a big part of my world is, of course, my children.

Here was my FB post Friday: DONE! Within 13 hours of deciding Ben was not going back to Camp Kehilla, I interviewed 5 camp directors, went to his old camp to settle things AND get my reimbursement, got medical forms, filled out paperwork, went to his new camp to meet the team, and now he is OFFICIALLY starting Luhi’s Computer program, with swimming, on Monday Morning. BooYa! I should really do this stuff for a living.

Let me explain. My 11 year old son has Asperger’s and camp (and most things) are not his thing. If he had his way, he’d be on the computer for his entire life playing Minecraft or watching crazy youtube videos that range from Team Fortress 2 vignettes to My Little Pony movies. For the past few years, he’s been going to a mainstream camp, but they suddenly closed. We looked at other mainstream camps, but they weren’t good fits (either too much sports, no real supervision, etc) so I selected a special needs camp where all the kids were on the spectrum. I was assured that his group would all be high functioning because my son gets very upset if he believes he’s in a group for kids with needs – especially if they’re lower functioning.

It’s been 3 weeks and needless to say, camp was a disaster. He was upset at the long bus ride, upset at some of the kids who would verbally stim for hours on end, upset that he was bored, not challenged and it was too chaotic. It got to a point that he was begging us not to take him to camp and he started having meltdowns to the point where he’d hurt himself. Camp simply shouldn’t be that way. I don’t blame the camp. We tried, it didn’t work out. My fault would have been to simply leave him there, because it was easy. But this mom doesn’t play that way.

I woke up at 6:00 am Friday morning, July 19th. Called in to work that I was taking off and started my emails. By 9:00 am I had started talking to directors at various camps, made appts at doctors to pick up medical forms for the camps, started downloading forms and started Facebooking about my plans. By noon I had it down to 3 camps. By 1:00 I chose one (one I had not even known about at noon and a FB friend mentioned!) and then dashed out to my son’s camp to let them know he wasn’t coming back, get reimbursement and take him home. (all nicely – I really don’t fault them).

By 4:30 I was at the new camp delivering payment, forms, getting the bus set up and talking to the Director. So, on Monday – only 3 days later on July 22nd, he’ll be starting a new camp, a computer based video gaming development program that “he thinks looks very cool” – there’s food he’ll eat, swimming and sports (hmmm), but they’re aware of his needs and the head of the camp believes he’ll be fine. My son has promised that he “will try” to control his behaviors. I’m hoping he’s motivated because he really wants to be there.

So, now I’m trying to breathe. Most of the time I’m a very tired, confused mess, but where my kids are concerned, I seriously feel like I have some sort of “reserve well” deep inside and have the ability to turn into supermommy when I need to. I mean, what other choice did I have?

Let’s cross our fingers, eyes, toes and whatever other disjointed body parts we have. The good news is, it’s only a 2 week program (I could re-up) but now I also have 2 other camps I can reach out to as well.

Wish us luck!